We should all be mindful of the burden placed on loved ones when decisions have to be made in a medical crisis. It is the worst possible time to have to make decisions. If you’ve put your wishes on paper it takes the burden off your loved ones and help ensure your wishes are followed.

But just getting them on paper isn’t enough. That document has to be easily accessible to health care professionals providing your care. If you are at the hospital at 9:00 on Saturday night and the document is in your doctor’s office, it won’t do you much good. If you’re traveling out of your home area and have an emergency you need to have the document with you.

I encourage people to have an envelope with health history and healthcare wishes, including a Durable Medical Power of Attorney. Keep a copy in your car’s glove compartment and one in your suitcase. Then no matter where you are, you have a copy with you. It is the only way to be sure your wishes are followed.

If you need a Durable Medical Power of Attorney form you can get them on line or at Woodland Hospice. Just call 989-773-6137 and we’re happy to mail one out. Your attorney can also help.

For more information on National Healthcare Decision Day check out   http://www.nationalhealthcaredecisionsday.org/

Hospice Is Not About Dying, But About Living

Sitting in his dining room, Robert Chiles reflected on the time he has spent in hospice care.

In October, 2008, Robert was told by his doctor in Florida, that he should consider hospice for his pulmonary fibrosis.  Robert said that he took it hard, but he followed the advice and was admitted to Cornerstone Hospice of Florida. Robert and his wife, Josephine, winter in Florida and have a summer home in Canadian Lakes, Michigan.

After Robert was admitted, friends asked them to attend church with them. Robert admitted that he didn’t attend church, but decided to go this time. “I felt out of place that Sunday in church, but I decided to go again the following week. It was at that time I prayed like I have never prayed before to have contact with my three daughters.” Robert had not seen his daughters, Sherry Schaub of California, Debra Bailey of Louisiana, and Kimmy Tulk of Colorado in over 20 years. After church that first Sunday he told his wife that he wanted to find his daughters. He and Josephine tried to find contact information on the internet, but they had no luck. So Robert decided to call his ex-wife. “She told me that she would give them my phone number, but to not contact them unless they called” Robert said.

On a Tuesday night before Thanksgiving, 2008, two of his daughters called him, and that Wednesday the third called. Since those first calls, Robert talks to his daughters every day. Robert found out that his youngest daughter, Kimmy, was suffering with pancreatitis and was going to be having surgery. Robert decided he wanted to make the trip to Colorado to be with Kimmy.

During this time, Robert was receiving care from Cornerstone Hospice and visits from their social worker and chaplain. The social worker asked Robert what would be needed to get him to Colorado as he was unable to fly, he would have to drive. The next day the chaplain and social worker informed Robert that they had found transportation and drivers for him and his wife. “After we were told the cost of the trip, we knew we would not be able to go,” Robert said. However, that same day the social worker called Robert to inform him that they had an anonymous donor to pay for the trip. Robert contacted Kimmy and asked if they could visit during her surgery. “Kimmy wanted to see me, but she couldn’t handle the extra stress of a visit while sick, but we could come at a different time,” Robert said.

In January, 2009, Robert and his wife, Josephine, were picked up in a 45-foot motor home with two drivers. They were also informed by the social worker that their hotel rooms and rental car would be taken care of.  “Once we arrived, I didn’t know what to expect; it was a long trip and my nerves were high. It took me three different tries to grab the door handle of Kimmy’s house. When the door opened I was welcomed with open arms by all three of my daughters. There were so many tears the Colorado River could have flooded over; it was a dream come true,” Robert said.

Robert had a chance to spend one-on-one time with Sherry, Debra, and Kimmy. Kimmy told him, “I always wanted to be daddy’s girl.” During the visit, Robert found out that he had twelve grandchildren and four great-grandchildren. He keeps a photo of his three daughters next to him at all times. If plans workout, all three daughters will visit him again in September. Eventually Robert did learn who his anonymous donor was. “Bob McCall from Remus is my guardian angel; he said he had been called a lot of things before, but not angel. He is more a brother to me than a friend,” Robert said.

When asked about the importance of hospice care Robert said, “I had Hospice for my mother, and I always thought it was about death, but it is about life. They will do anything you ask of them, and they are always there to talk to. Hospice organizations don’t receive enough positive media.” Robert is currently receiving care from Woodland Hospice and Morey Bereavement Center located in Mt. Pleasant. He continues to enjoy the game of golf and said “I want to die with a golf club in my hand”

For more information about hospice care call Woodland Hospice at 989-773-6137.

We wish to send many thanks to the Mt. Pleasant Presbyterian Church for their offer to build a gazebo at hospice house.  The gazebo is placed in clear view of each client suite and is part of a paved trail made possible through a grant from the Christopher and Dana Reeve Foundation.   We couldn’t do this without the wonderful care of our community.  Thanks for your hard work all weekend getting the gazebo going.

A class of 25 people are making their way through our volunteer training.  Training is presented by staff explaining all aspects of hospice care.  This is a great class and we’re looking forward to working with everyone!

Volunteer Recognition 2009 was held April 19 at the Commission on Aging. Alan Riggs and his talented singers entertained us and performed a xylophone solo.

Congratulations to Maggie Foote for being awarded the Purple Pansy Bedpan Award!

Thanks to Char and the Volunteer Personnel Committee for planning such a nice event. Thanks also to Edwin, Chieko and the kitchen volunteers for the delicious meal.

But mostly thank you to the awesome volunteers who make Woodland Hospice the very best!

Saturday was the 15th Annual Abate Fundraiser.   This group has raised about $100,000 for us over the last 15 years.  They work so hard getting everything together and it is always a huge success and a great party.  The beautiful weather helps too!

By William Lamb
Special to CNN
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(LifeWire) — When George Dello of San Diego was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and told he had at best five months to live, he didn’t immediately begin the chemotherapy treatments his doctor recommended. Instead, he and his wife, Pam, drove up the California coast and spent a week among the redwoods north of San Francisco.
Expert: Family and friends can help the terminally ill by spending time with them.

Expert: Family and friends can help the terminally ill by spending time with them.

“These trees are 5 feet wide and 150 feet tall,” said Dello, 43. “They still have another 150 feet to grow and are going to stick around for another 1,000 years. When I thought about that, I’m just a flea on the bark. It’s unbelievable.”

The trip offered Dello, who worked in the auto repossession business, and his wife a chance to come to terms with the diagnosis in August 2008, and to scratch the trip to the redwood forests off his life “to do” list while he was still relatively healthy.

He died four months later.

The idea that dying well is as important as living well gained cultural currency last year when Randy Pausch, a computer science professor at Carnegie Mellon University, delivered a final lecture a month after learning that his pancreatic cancer had spread and was inoperable. The lecture was viewed millions of times on the Internet and adapted into a best-selling book.

“We cannot change the cards we are dealt,” Pausch, who died in July at age 47, told his audience, “just how we play the hand.”

“Die the way you live”

It’s easy, experts say, for terminally ill patients and their loved ones to focus so much on their medical care and other important practical matters, including funerals and wills, that a “good” death eludes them. Health permitting, a trip like the one Dello took with his wife can help, as can visits from friends and family.

“You’re going to die the way you live,” says Fran Moreland Johns, a former hospice volunteer and author of “Dying Unafraid.” “Laughter, music, all of the things that have been important in your life — if you put them to work for making your end times better, you can actually affect your dying days.”

“That’s where Randy Pausch has set a wonderful example. He brought all of his skills to bear on living until the moment he died.”

Tony Wallace, a retired foreign service officer from Arlington, Virginia, went on a Caribbean cruise with his wife, Susan, after he learned in September 2004 that he had amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, or ALS. As his illness progressed, Wallace, a former adjunct professor of public policy at George Mason University, put his teaching and writing skills to work by starting a blog, “Navigating Through ALS,” and using it as a platform to help others suffering from the disease.

“I’m not a compiler of life lists of things I never got to do and places I never got to visit,” Wallace wrote in December 2007. “I look back on my life to date and view it as a well-judged race — like a NASCAR race in which you don’t set the speed record, but you don’t crash, handle the curves well, and deliver a respectable performance.”

Wallace died September 4, 2008 at age 67. Susan Wallace, a part-time editor, says her husband’s illness, while painful and difficult, offered an opportunity of sorts.

“If I had to choose between a long-term illness and an immediate death, I think I would go for a long-term illness, although it was hard on both of us,” she says. “But the last four years have been incredible years, probably the best years of our marriage. We became closer than we ever were.”

For friends and family

Friends and family can help tremendously simply by showing up, says Kathy Brandt, vice president of professional leadership, consumer and caregiver services for the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization. Often, she says, people worry so much about what to say to someone with a terminal illness — or about saying the wrong thing — that they just stay away.

“We need to put aside our selfish fears,” says Brandt. “That may sound a little harsh, but it’s not really about us.”

One way to avoid saying the wrong thing is to steer clear of cliches, she says.

“‘God has a reason’ or ‘tomorrow will be another day’ — those kinds of things are trite, but they’re also impersonal,” says Brandt.

“If the person wants to chat and talk, then just ask a question or two and let the person talk. If the person’s not physically well enough to do a lot of talking, ask if they’d like to hear a story about something that happened at work, or saying, ‘Would you like me to read a story to you?’ It’s all about figuring out where the person is at and meeting them where they are.”

Visits can be used to tie up loose ends or resolve old conflicts, says Brandt.

Susan Wallace says her husband had time to repair one particularly nagging rift before he died, and Dello also took opportunities to resolve disputes with friends and former co-workers.

“Most people at the end of their life need closure,” says Brandt. “If they’ve offended someone or had an argument with somebody, they can say they’re sorry. Oftentimes they like the opportunity to say goodbye to people. They may not say those words, but that’s what those visits can be with friends and loved ones.”

In Johns’ view, the biggest hurdle for most people is overcoming their fear of the unknown and realizing that, for most, death “is not the worst thing that’s going to happen.”

“We don’t know what dying is,” says Johns. “Whatever your religious background, it’s easier for us to ignore death and pretend that it doesn’t happen than to accept it as an unknown with all the other unknowns — in this day and age there are a lot of them — and deal with what we can and not be so spooked.”

By: Kristen Podczervinski

Central Michigan University Public Relations Intern

Sitting in a recliner in his suite at Woodland Hospice House Arlynn Gantz reflects on his life. Arlynn was born in St. Louis, and in 1954 graduated from St. Louis High School. After that Arlynn worked at WJIM TV in Lansing 25 years as a commercial artist. Once he was done working there he opened his own genealogical business.

People all around the world would contact Arlynn and ask him to find obituaries and tombstones of family members they thought were buried in Michigan. Arlynn enjoyed visiting the cemeteries and in turn touched many peoples’ lives with his findings.

Every time Arlynn visited a cemetery he would write down the words on each tombstone. Throughout his life he has recorded 172 cemeteries. Later in life Arlynn retired to Florida where he decided to visit the civil war tombstones and write down every soldier from Michigan who was buried there. Some soldiers didn’t have tombstones so Arlynn contacted government officials and was able to get free stones for each of them. “Had I not done that, they would have never gotten one,” said Arlynn. Arlynn also got what he refers to as his “favorite find as an American” while in Florida. It was that Roger William’s, the founder of Rhode Island, is his nine times great grandfather.

Wilkenson, Arlynn’s mother’s maiden name, was of Pennsylvanian Dutch origin. Arlynn traced both of his parents’ lines back to 1855, through a total of 39 grandparents. Early generations of his family lived in Ohio and came to Michigan because of the land grants being offered.

Unfortunately Arlynn has had to battle cancer three times and is too weak to care for himself so he came to the Woodland Hospice House. However, Hospice House gives Arlynn everything he had at home and more such as wild life right outside his window, a place to visit with friends and somewhere he can receive state of the art care.

Having always been a nature person the view outside of his suite is perfect for him. “I saw 6 black squirrels playing tag out there a couple days ago,” said Arlynn. The wildlife includes deer, turkeys and even a Red Tail Hawk. Arlynn says the Hospice House is ideal for someone like him who has always been an independent person.

Arlynn has also received many cards and visitors. “Some people used to tell me that my work has made a difference in so many lives, but it wasn’t until now that I’m starting to realize it,” said Arlynn.

Arlynn Gantz passed away February 17, 2009 as the Red Tail Hawk circled around Woodland Hospice House.